Servers are people too

An older campaign slogan for Outback was, "No Rules, Just Right." My guess is that people think when they come in to a restaurant this rule applies to their behavior as well. Do you really need to drink a half unsweet tea and half sweet tea? PUT THE SUGAR IT IN YOURSELF IF YOU'RE THAT PICKY! Or better yet, stay home. Part of what you pay for when going out to eat is the experience, and the more obnoxious you are the less pleasurable I will make your experience. Hey now, you aren't making my life any easy so why should I make yours, and chances are you won't tip approopiatly anyway.
This past Sunday I was taking care of a party of four, one woman at the table decided she wanted a cobb salad. We don't have a cobb salad. There is a menu for a reason. She's probably the same type of woman that will ask the hostess to seat her in a section that doesn't have a server in it.
On two seperate occassions I have had two guys sat at my table five minutes before we close. Both instances the guys took their sweet time deciding what they wanted to eat, and waited to place their order until they had been the only people left sitting in the restaurant because we closed 15 minutes ago. There's steak, chicken, and pasta; it shouoldn't be that difficult. After counting to make sure that they chewed each bite the appropriate amount of times, they paid and tipped less then ten percent. Thank you for forcing me to remain at work and not be able to clean up for 45 minutes so in the end I could pretty much just have that moment with you in my life.
Keep in mind, the tip you leave your server is what pays their bills. If you can afford to eat a porter house steak you better have at least $4 extra with you for that server. Believe me when I say that this is NOT something I do because I enjoy it, it is something I do because I like to eat and sleep with a roof over my head. Unfortunately for me, the fate of whether or not I can pay rent lies in the hands of my guests.
With that explained, how you're food comes out is not a reflection of how I've been taking care of you. The cooks don't get your tip, I do. Sometimes it would be better for you to understand that there is truelly nothing I can do about certain things. No we don't have corn, spinach, pepsi, chips or salsa, chop sticks, mojito's or any other flavor ice cream beside vanilla. The restaurant you eat your food at is not Publix, no matter how desperatly you want it to be.
People will get so aggrivated, they'll sit down and I will greet them with my name and ask them what they'd like to drink. "Ugh, we just sat down." I know. That's why I asked you what you'd like to drink. Sometimes when a single person is waiting for a party they don't want anything, no water, no bread, nothing. They just want to sit there and wait. There are places to sit in the lobby and no one would be offended if you sat up there and waited for them.
A word that servers use more often then they should is camper. When you go out to eat, you should be eating. When you're done eating but you still want to sit and talk, well there's a Starbucks up the road and they aren't losing money if you sit at one of their tables all night. Once the bill is paid your dining experience is over, hopefully.
Another night about a month ago I was serving another party of four. This table was certain that they could order things off the menu that weren't there. "No sir, we don't have a large dinner size portion of the Ahi tuna. We can do that for you but the cost would just be two appetizer Ahi tuna's." But he had it before. And I'm sure that is what he was charged. At the end of the meal they ordered food togo (FYI: just because you want it togo does not mean it will be ready when you are, the food still has to cook, make sure to order togo food before the end of the meal) and paid before it was done. When I got the slip back they had tipped me ten percent on quite a large bill. I had now forgotten about their togo food and just wanted them gone. The Ahi tuna dinner guy came up to me to remind me about their togo food. I grabbed it from the back, intentionally giving them no bread, and put it on the table. As they left they complained to a manager that I threw the bag on the table, "We tipped the standard 15 percent, maybe if she were nicer we would have given her more."
As a server I don't receive a quarterly raise, not even yearly. I don't get one. The standard is no longer 15, it is 20 percent. If the cost of gas is going up how could you not logically expect my tip to.